Body and Stress
Sometimes when we deal with stressful situations our brain might be able to process it before our body does. This week I experienced a situation that had my heart racing and my hands shaking – I found myself in an unexpected confrontation with someone I thought was my friend. This interaction happened over messenger and I was unprepared due to the unexpected nature of the conversation. My last blog covered how to deal with negativity coming from those closest to you and this seemed to be a leveling up test. I realized very quickly that this person was actively trying to manipulate my actions by using various forms of guilt.
Anyone who knows me well can attest to the extremity of my guilty conscience – I’m very sensitive to hurting others and it isn’t something I relish. This attack was carefully targeted at that very conscience. Apparently though, this person didn’t or wasn’t aware of how far Conquering Life has allowed me to grow. I haven’t shed the sentiment but now it only appears when I have something to feel guilty about. I take responsibility for the things I do wrong and I work hard to remedy them but I’ve stopped taking responsibility for the things that aren’t to do with me.
As a child of a dysfunctional family, I used to take extreme amounts of responsibility for my mother’s discomfort. Every time she was stressed or upset I felt as though it was somehow my fault or that it was my duty to fix it. I know now that I can be there for her but I cannot fix something that is neither my duty nor my doing. Conquering Life teaches us that our happiness and our choices are our own and no one else’s – and that comes with a certain freedom.
So the messages I received from this previously considered friend seemed to be constructed to pierce the person I was before. They knew what they wanted from me and weren’t afraid to use any ammunition they had. I could see this, I knew that the things they were bringing up were unrelated and unfair – I said as much, as cordially as possible. I attempted to bring awareness to the conversation to change the confrontational turn it had taken but to no success. My mind understood but my nerves took longer to follow.
It’s curious how your body and your mind can sometimes be on different pages. The physiological response to a confrontational situation was a reaction I couldn’t simply will away. I’m proud of myself for keeping my head in the face of a tricky situation and removing myself from it when I realized that it was a pointless discussion. It took some time to calm down – a little stretching and breathing helped with that. I think that little by little I’ll be able to train my body to follow my mind, letting it take its cues from calm and rational thoughts rather than instinctual fear.
Life is a learning curve and I definitely feel that I’m sent the lessons I need to learn from – thanks to Conquering Life I have the tools to face them, whatever they might be!
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